After his winter lassitude, what could inspire Macdara to take up his poison pen again, other than the Idiocy of the European elites?

It is easy—too easy—to despise the stupid white settler countries that blight the so-called developed world. Men with names like Tucker, Tanner and Tyler, women with surnames for names: Mackenzie, Peyton and Sloane; these are juveniles with a gross impact upon the global environment, and who cause seemingly endless bloodshed, but no impact on our shared human story as such, being the movement towards Communism. These are people who get upset when someone gives them a thank-you card a day late, or is too slow in bringing over a welcome-to-the-neighbourhood meatloaf. It is much more fun to hate the European elites. No one else combines such smugness and self-regard with such a hopeless lack of strategic thinking or intellectual ability of any kind, the latter achieved as a result of—rather than despite—their expensive Education. In fact a refusal to attempt to achieve the nous required to maintain a coherent conversation or, say, catch a bus, is a prerequisite of sinking to the top of the European Institutions. The reason the European elites are special even amongst the Grotesqueries of their global peers is that they combine imperialist arrogance with the slavish attitudes of a Comprador Class: they are thus doubly despicable and therefore great fun to write about.

Time therefore for a quickfire round of Profiles in Scourge!

I

Are you unable to get elected? Are you a vampiric zionist who is also a plagiarist, being the only two areas of human activity—albeit base human activity—in which you show real ability? Then you are Ursula von der Leyen.

You are woken in the morning by your hairdresser, having slept as usual in the salon chair so that the hours it takes to look impeccable—here Macdara is not being sarcastic—do not interrupt your busy life of swindling and murder. If today is a day that you are encouraging Ukrainians to die so as to drive your continent towards nuclear catastrophe, then you choose a vyshyvanka so that you can post the following, which is objectively hilarious:

Today we honor the Ukrainian culture by celebrating Vyshyvanka Day. People are invited to wear a traditional Ukrainian cloth embroidered with ethnic patterns […] In these difficult times, let’s keep Ukraine’s culture and traditions vibrant!

If today is a day when you are only raping, maiming, starving, torturing and murdering Palestinians, then any Hugo Boss blazer will do.

Probably feeling the sting of her fraudulent degrees, she has accepted an honorary degree from one of the zionist institutions that pollutes Palestine, an organisation that is not only implicated in all of the war crimes of the zionist statelet, but is also named after a man who committed the Nakba and terrorised Arab Jews.

This lady from a minor aristocratic lineage, who married into a similarly stale family, has presumably been taught all her life to value elite networks over the fiddly and bourgeois process of having one’s friends’ companies tender for work. She therefore routinely awards contracts to people in her circle, though one might argue that she shows her awareness of the law in making sure to delete her texts before she has had to hand over her phones to law enforcement. So the least that can be said for her is that she does in fact know right from wrong. She is also presumably of nazi lineage, since we would certainly have heard about it if she could claim any anti-nazi pedigree. Of course when it was claimed that there was evidence about her family having been nazis—photos with Hitler et cetera—the capitalist media was quick to say it was all a Russian hoax. A hoax it may have been, but are we really to believe her elite family were not without links to the regime?

The glorious and courageous Francesca Albanese has said that von der Leyen should be charged for complicity in war crimes. May we all live to see it happen, in the Hague, or in Nürnberg once again!