I

Do not listen to those who say that this shambolic Presidential campaign is reminiscent of the last time there was a Fianna Fáil implosion during such a campaign, with Brian Lenihan in 1990; in fact the last time there was a Fianna Fáil implosion during a Presidential election was with Seán Gallagher in 2011. This strange character resigned from the Fianna Fáil National Executive only four months before announcing his Presidential campaign, after thirty years as a member. In typical Fianna Fáil gombeen mode, he wanted to run simultaneously as an Independent and as arch-Party Insider. Martin McGuinness performed a service for which the cranky Higgins campaign is unlikely ever to have ever thanked him, and sank Gallagher live on television. Macdara did not even remember that this same character ran again in 2018 against a Higgins who refused even to campaign and another charlatan from the same reality television franchise as Gallagher himself. He got barely above 6% of the vote.

The Lenihan campaign of 1990 is remembered for introducing the phrase “on mature reflection” into Irish politics, the real treat being that that which he decided on mature reflection had not taken place (Lenihan and others putting pressure on the President to give them power) in fact had taken place, as was easily proved when the tape was released of one of the occasions in the past when Lenihan had admitted to the attempted power-grab. This nasty episode involved Lenihan being removed by his great friend Haughey, in whose interests he had been acting in attempting to bully the President, and who had, let us say, repurposed money raised for Lenihan’s liver transplant; repurposed towards his own infamous lifestyle, that is.

All of which is to say that Fianna Fáil have made a habitual sport of crashing in Presidential campaigns.

II

This time around they chose—though in reality it seems only to have been Micheál Martin who made the choice—a man who, as a star GAA manager, peace-keeping soldier, pilot and aviation administrator of no established political position, would have been the perfect lab-grown Candidate except he was not grown in a lab and therefore has a lifetime of personal history for journalists to explore. In truth, little exploration was needed, as it was well-known in media circles that the deputy editor of a Sunday newspaper had been robbed by Gavin. Fianna Fáil have once again failed in the elementary duties of a political party: to establish what scandals might make someone ineligible for winning public trust, and stand them down before running them for election.

Leaving aside the extraordinary locution of the accidental landlord—Macdara assumes, but is not inclined to try to prove, that this creature is solely to be found in the Irish habitat—the party did know during whatever passed as a vetting process that the man in front of them had broken the law in renting out a property without registering with the Private Residential Tenancies Board. And yet they thought this would not matter. But of course they did, as the pre-eminent party of vulture Landlordism! They were asked some helpfully leading questions by the media, which, if they were a party of minimally competent people, would have pointed them towards the full details that emerged later: that this man had kept €3,300 of his tenant’s money, transferred to him in a banking error.

There are two things to point out here. Firstly, by keeping this money, Jim Gavin proved himself to be an outright Thief. Secondly, the respectable media (yes, the West Brit Times Politics podcast) defended him fulsomely, even after having received feedback that they had been too soft on him. They feel sorry for him, they agreed, he is a good man. They even joked about being the newspaper of the Landlord Class, or perhaps joked isn’t quite the word. And this charlatan and thief has now sought to launder his reputation by returning the money. How much did he return though? €3,300, it has been reported. But what of the last sixteen years of inflation? It is easy to find an estimate of how much this sum is worth today: €4,689.10. Even still this man is benefitting from his criminality.

But we can at least look forward to an election where a man who has withdrawn from the race nevertheless appears on the ballot. Hopefully this will give Fianna Fáil their lowest result in history; hopefully they have even lower to go. After all, Martin poses as the saviour of a party that actually had its second-lowest result ever at the last election: keep up the good work Micheál!