It is the great hope of this nearly hopeless citizen that Reunification will provide an opportunity not to shore up privilege in our country but to break it down. A loud and troublesome bloc of settler colonists sitting in Dáil Éireann is anathema to the Partionist Party of the current twenty-six county State. This is reason enough to look forward to its finally coming to pass. We should go further, and move the Dáil or the Presidency to Belfast; move Departments to Belfast, Derry, as well as Galway, Cork. These are the changes we should welcome to rebalance the State, as against the insane suggestions pushed by the likes of the Irish Times so as to render Reunification an absurdity. But your correspondent fears that the opportunity will be seized—if so energetic a word can be used for the sluggishness of the Partionists, who act only from an instinctive need that they themselves do not understand, like a baby shitting itself—to force through changes that are destructive of society, culture and the people.

We will find that the anti-Irish racism of the settlers is utterly congruent with the self-loathing of the native Partitionists, who experience a total terror of all elements of our culture that fail to fit neatly into an American’s sleazy idea of St Patty’s Day. The elites are disgusted by our language in particular, of which the Party has cultivated a widespread ignorance for generations, because of—rather than despite—its being taught to everyone, since it is taught with no regard for linguistic viability or communication as such, nor for the fostering of any affection for our heritage, but only from an inherited duty to the Republican movement that delivered the State to us after centuries, a movement that is a source of increasing embarrassment to the Party since these women and men fought the English, and violence, being a cause of change, and a way of altering property relations, is always Bad. And the English, being Imperialists, are always sophisticated, worthy of emulation and overall just generally Good.

Following this feverish fear further, we should expect that the authorities of this vile new project would in fact retain the worst aspects of Partitionism, devoting their ministrations not to the creation of a new Republic, but rather to the Frankenstein project of sewing together the two parts of Ireland in such a way as to maintain an institutionalised partitionism within the new State, an organic state of failure that would serve to allow the most spiteful elements of the country to say we told you so, cutting the Border more bloodily into us all. Thus the venal, stupid and incompetent elites of the current Republic will squat in Leinster House, the colonists will continue to rage in Stormont, and nothing whatsoever will happen, except in one respect: the Partionists will of course take the opportunity to erode all vestiges of native culture so as not to offend the colonists. This will leave the State a blank Anglophone catastrophe, rendering us a more eager participant in imperialist adventures: doubtless we will hear that neutrality violates the rights of settlers. Immigration will cease too, since it would be unwise to allow anyone into a country now more full than ever, and those who are already here and contributing to our country will be hounded even more than at present. Climate chaos will cause the Party to promote a continuing dirty war on the world that has failed us as we find ourselves in an atmosphere of millenarian Abandon: the perfect outfit for the apocalypse! 

There is one thing we can do to avoid this fate, the same thing as ever and the only thing that has ever worked: fight the rich. This is why this writer still hopes; call it Love, the opposite of everything that we can expect to happen until we ourselves prevail.